Challenge: Accepted

I don’t run. At least, I didn’t run, apart from a few 5Ks here and there, the Charlottesville 10-Miler a couple of times because a bunch of people from morning workout were running in it, that sort of thing.

But, and this is important, I do stupid things. Admittedly, less “Of course I can chug that!” stupid and more “12 overnight hours and 20+ miles of cross-country log-carrying tactical-movement with a rucksack full of bricks? With another one the next afternoon? Why not!” stupid.

(In fairness, however, it was only a Challenge-Light, not a Challenge-Challenge or HCL. I may do stupid things, but I am not a moron.)

So I decided to run the Richmond Marathon last year on a whim. And I accepted my brother’s challenge that if I could get out of bed the next morning (loft bed with railings and a ladder, so trickier than just rolling to one side) I’d sign up for the Seashore State Park 50K that December.

Unfortunately, the 50K was full up by the time of the marathon. Darn. Still, with a rucksack full of food, water, and a pre-race outer layer that I was too stubborn and Norwegian-Lutheran to actually discard and so got stuffed in on top of the 3L hydration bladder, I finished.

(I had covered this distance before [more or less, and spread out over between the Challenge-Light…] and I was used to moving with a rucksack, to be fair.

[And I sweat… profusely, so dehydration was a concern for me.])

A while after that, some guy made the internet for running a half-marathon in a suit, and right after that the cofounder of Ministry of Supply ran a much faster half-marathon in one of their just-released Aviator 2 suits.

And, after the release of Kingsman, I may have become… slightly obsessed with the idea of being able to do my full range of martial arts and tactical/athletic activities in business casual. I already had a fair amount of Ministry of Supply in my closet, and had looked at the suit when they announced it, but it cost a pretty penny; and but so since I don’t really wear suits that often, it was too much $$$ for what would basically be a gimmick.

…

But if someone else bought it for me… someone who would think nothing of dropping four figures on a life-size Utahraptor statue for his front yard in downtown Richmond… someone who could probably be tricked cajoled enticed into buying the suit for me, then…

…

Since my brother and I both hold firmly to the A-Team motto that “Overkill is underrated” I joked that if he bought me the suit, I’d run an ultramarathon in it!

(Necessary context – my brother actually is a runner, with a string of marathons, 50Ks, and even a 100K under his belt, so he knew what was and is involved in running an ultramarathon, and also knew just how little (*cough* NO *cough*) preparation or practice I had.

Further helpful context – my brother also enjoys seeing me in pain and failing. To be fair, not in the schadenfreude sense, more in the “in great attempts, it is glorious even to fail” sense, but still – for a quarter the price of Alan the Raptor, getting a front-row seat to 4+ hours of me running in a two-piece suit, complete with dress shirt, belt and tie? None of which could be loosened or removed during the race?

Yes, please!)

“Okay,” he said.

“Eh, maybe,” I said.

On New Year’s Day before I could fully wake up – not hungover, just groggy – I emailed him:

“Since New Year’s is a time to make really, really stupid resolutions that you’ll fucking hate your previous self for making –

– if you supply the suit, I’ll run an ultramarathon in it.”

The next Monday: “You’re on.”

He chose Promise Land.

I did zero research on Promise Land. If my brother hadn’t told me, I wouldn’t have known about the elevation (7,400+ feet of gain…). Thus, the ‘++’ Horton-standard extra distance took me by surprise.

(To be clear, my lack of research was such that I didn’t even look at the back of the shirt we got at packet pickup the night before, where the 34-and-change miles were clearly indicated.)

In terms of the race itself, well, um… I jogged up the first long uphill stretch, did my best to stride the hills out, walking when I saw other people walking and feeling guilty because I didn’t think you were supposed to ever be walking, at all, because again I did no research on what it means to cover 34+ miles in the mountains.

Loved the downhill trail part and then kept up a good pace on the flat road segment.

Ate all the sugars from my suit jacket, which was as good as or better than a race vest for storing and organizing nommage. Honey Wafers in the inner right lapel pocket, chia gels in the right flap pocket and Honey Stingers in the left, a backup gel on the inside left pocket.

Ate a ton of food at aid stations and drank copious amounts of water.

Quads felt rough downhill, feet I was worried were blistering / bloodied but it was just from going through puddles, and only hallucinated twice – thought I heard someone behind me but nope. (The third time there was a guy booking past me, though.)

Raced the last mile at about a 7-minute pace.

Finished in 6 hours and 52 minutes and change.

Threw on a hoodie and ate a bunch of peanut butter and bananas and then literally about three dozen cookies.

Won a suit.

Me wearing the suit (pre-race, because photos afterwards were all rain-streaked):

Aviator 2 Jacket: https://www.ministryofsupply.com/products/aviator-2-jacket

Aviator 2 Pants: https://www.ministryofsupply.com/products/aviator-2-pants

Apollo Dress Shirt: https://www.ministryofsupply.com/products/apollo

Atmos LT V-Neck: https://www.ministryofsupply.com/products/atmos-lt-v-neck

If anyone happens to actually read this and wants to sample the wares of Ministry of Supply, drop me a line for a $25 gift credit via their referral program.

The tie is the GORUCK Man Tie, made of 1000D Cordura. They’re out of production but still pop up from time to time on eBay and Ruckmall.